SerenitySavage

You were born to fail My words, they may impale But you, you were born to fail You have left us fragile and frail My mind can no longer float I need a sail Because you were born to fail Our lives stuck in a deluge of hail Simply because you lived by your male Your cell you created for your jail You were born to fail Off the rail, down the trail My body and soul has fallen Even though I derailed I will prevail But you, You were born to fail

Why do you self destruct? Everything you do. You run away, burn bridges. Perceive needs. You think the world revolves around you. It used to. I have to let you go. I was not ready. Would never be ready. I have to. You are like a cancer that keeps spreading through my body. All our memories are tumors. They grow and fester. They come out of nowhere and go hide, only to reappear when I least expect them to. I rarely enjoy. I am still trapped within myself. Living in the darkness like it is my light. Yoga. Breathe. Eat. Sleep. Repeat. Write. Smoke. Friend. Kids. Love. Relapse. Relapse. Breathe. Smoke. Repeat. Recover. Rejoice? Not yet. What has the earth in store for me? Where is it going to spit me out after it has chewed me up? If I was a cat, I would have used up my nine lives dying over and over again for you. Always chasing you. But curiosity killed the cat. Killed this cat dead. Made her rot. Decay. Ashes to ashes. I have turned to dirt. I am so dead. All I need is a bird to drop a...

Waiting for what? To get out of this rut? For the pain to subside in my gut? For you to dismember that slut? Asking all the whys Shall  I cry Until I die Did you ever even want to try? Living encapsuled in rage For my hatred has no gauge This fury will not assuage Why can't I just turn the page? To know you was to love you No one sees the true colors of blue Not Carolina, but a much darker hue I was the one The rest will be the few

The five page letter from my heart that you did not even want to read. It sits crumpled and wet in the trash can. Covered in my stomach bile. This sickness that won't leave. I vomited all over the words that I vomited on that paper. What a fitting end to this whole charade. I look into my eyes and I don't see the green anymore. They are yellow and lost. I just want to be in love with you for one more night.

I have no flame I am unlit Somebody find me a new wick quick What happened to the flame I had I know where it went, up in smoke Now the feeling is bad Like some kind of joke Because nothing is funny Nothing is fine Maybe get some ugly energy out with this whine Yet I have two shiny gems But the gold band that holds them is rusted The joy I should feel when I have them is crusted Will I get through this funk that I feel Or is any of this even real Just some rotten shit floating around in my head Wish I could trade it for another's instead

You were the one that will never be Never revealed if you were a he or a she You were our baby we will never see A fleeting surprise in so many ways My body carried you for too few days They say these things happen for a reason Sometimes words are too hard to believe in I would have loved to have been your friend And I will surely remember you until my end Your beautiful life I will never see You were the one that will never be