SerenitySavage

He called me "Baby" again This man I no longer even consider a friend He might as well have said mam or miss Some generic term for a female or bitch Any man that calls me baby, or honey, or boo Can keep rolling past If you can't say my name I'll impolitely take a pass Because it means there are others He calls by the same Wouldn't want the ladies to get mixed up That would just be a damn shame I found what I needed Pulled it from my own guts I want to pulverize his memory Grind it into dust When the pressure was on Diamonds he did not make He was just crapping coal To start a fire in my wake I write because no one listens Maybe they'll read instead If it serves no other purpose At least it gets out of my head

It is bad enough to be diagnosed with an autoimmune disorder. The symptoms and fatigue can be overwhelming and a person's life is thrown into a tornado of pain, denial, and disease. Imagine always having no idea what's around the corner. What many people don't understand is that what comes after the initial diagnosis of an incurable disease is a trial by error guessing game. In the beginning, when the first persistent symptoms start to turn into something uglier, a person can only guess what may be going on inside their bodies. Most people don't automatically assume that they have an illness that will never go away. We expect to be able to go to a doctor, receive a diagnosis and then the proper medication to make a recovery. Before my diagnosed with Crohn's Disease, I went through several different doctors trying to figure out what was wrong. The first two trips to an urgent care brought no answers. Their referral to a general practitioners office gave me a false ...

Swollen tender breasts A twinge of nausea Extra bathroom breaks The first symptoms of the precarious condition A human incubator Ravenous and moody Weeks of tests to follow Glucose tolerance Trisomy 18 Triple screen Sound waves create a premature image On to weight gain and stretch marks The pit stop and road map of the state Indigestion induces involuntary vomit Water retention fattens face and feet The day will soon come, but first try to sleep! Uterine convulsions harden Squeezing life The cervix ripens and thins A one woman birthing show now begins The sound of life reverberates Underwater heart thuds A catheter is threaded Into the spine Intentionally Causing partial paralysis Causing partial pain relief Waiting for the order to push Waiting to deliver Involuntary bowel movements Wiped up discreetly by a nurse Blood vessels bulge where the sun don't shine Hug the back of your knees and squeeze Breathe Squeeze Rip from vagina to anus S...

If you are not strong enough to hold my tears Bypass The toll will be much too expensive I will always wear my heart for sunglasses The thought of love Burns my eyes Don't bother to try and hold my hand If yours is too slippery Nothing is hidden inside or out I give you x-ray vision See through me Like plastic wrap You slide in wearing tinfoil Shiny soldier Only trying to conquer With armor that all too quickly rusts No one is strong enough To hold my weight So I flutter my feathers Stay flying high The strength of my soul Is never up for debate If you know you can't win Or do not even want to Why do you bother to try? The strength is the problem My muscles scare people away Not biceps or quads The ones in my heart, my eyes My mind Is a sumo wrestler Who just ate dinner But is always ready for the next meal At first this is the source of my appeal The end proves it to be a little too real All the while my muscles Keep growing Leaving the p...

Nevermind I thought you were one of my kind Quick to quip With a mouth always tripped Nevermind Thought you could sneak up behind Catch me off my balanced guard You with your Ace in my Joker's card Nevermind The offer has now been declined Next up if you can handle a strong mind Whose in line? Nevermind The stars were misaligned The joke is on me As it will always be Nevermind I'll turn right Left myself behind A blind mastermind Nevermind This mouth gets me into trouble I should just stay quiet One day I'll start a riot Nevermind Time to change and refrain I look in the mirror and she says Nevermind I am divine

My lover encompasses me Fingers intertwining with my hair Pulling out the thirsty strands My lover is an elevator Up and down With no emergency stop He makes me pay If I don't give him special attention The jealousy is painful My lover gets lost inside of me Scratching his way out Erupting from beneath my skin My lover keeps me guessing He always makes time for a surprise visit Never a long distance relationship He is a drug addict Desperate for the next dose Of my platinum liquid fuel He keeps me up at night Worrying about what trouble He will get us into next My lover is a sadist Beating me into submission Leaving me hogtied and vulnerable Goodbye my lover I beg him to find another Still he never strays Faithful to me forever he will be My lover named Crohn's There is no time for any other

I like to look at myself Though other people's eyes See what they see And how they think of me To some I am an inspiration For others a flying failure A lovely innocent girl Or a tornado about to unfurl I take inspiration from everything So don't be surprised If I write a few lines To complain, bitch, moan and whine I am not for everyone This one of the few things I know Love me, want me, or hate me too At least I was able to pull an emotion from you So how do you see me And why should I care? Your opinion doesn't determine my self esteem I was not made to see through your dreams What you see is what you get If you don't like what I am I have no reason to care We don't even breathe the same air