SerenitySavage

The days are brighter When there is dancing in my head But you’re on a different side of town  So I sit at home By myself in love  While you’re on a different side of town  It’s like waiting for the DJ to play your song But he spins his exotic beats On a different side of town Maybe I am more in love With my own words that I ever was With you from a different side of town So I will stay alone in love Until someone breaks in From a different side of town

I don't need you To tell me You love me I'm satisfied Just being Your memory Think of me When you see The color purple Not Prince Or that movie More like The hue Of that bruise On your shin When you bang It on the same Coffee table For the fortieth time That's me The hummingbird At your feeder Here and gone Before you can blink A strobe light Flashing glimpses Of me When you remember I will know That will be enough

Faded hematoma  Bloodied underneath Reminds me I’m alive  Bit by life’s bright teeth Contusions are gifts  Whose colors open slowly  Existence nibbles On the bones of the lonely  Love bites and brawls  Is it any wonder Life can leave you bruised  But purple is my favorite color

This picture will always be one of my favorites, but not for the reasons you might think. I was smack dab in the middle of the absolute worst time of my life, just trying to put on a smile for these three little people that were and are still much more important than me. Nanna was only 2 months old, Luca 16 months, and Anthoni was 8. My body felt ravaged, like it had been pregnant for nearly two years straight and my mind was going downhill. Fast.  I was so alone. Covered with kids at all times, but more alone than I have ever felt. It did not make sense. It’s the part of motherhood that no one tells you about. You give up your own identity in order to raise a new one. I knew what depression was. I had dealt with it since my teenage years, so that was nothing new. Postpartum depression was a much deeper hole. I was supposed to be so overwhelmed with love for these little people that nothing else mattered. Who cares if I hadn’t taken a shower in 4 days or slept more than thirty cons...

Everyone that walks out my door  Leaves in the same way They tell me I’m a miserable human  A grim witch with no happiness They tell me I’m a religiousless heathen A soulless bitch with no direction  What they don’t understand  Is I never hid what I am  I have been all those things from the start It’s only when you see something About yourself In my eyes That you don’t like Kindness is the first victim As you decide to spit your spite  It’s a common trait of weak humans  Throw glass at rock houses If you read something  Within these words That feels familiar  Rest assured it’s not for you Someone that never existed Does not get  To reside in my truth

Rudolph the rat fink lawyer Was the mayor everyone knows  And if you ever saw him You would even say he’s gross All of the smarter people  Used to laugh and call him names That never seemed to stop him The man has no sense of shame When one Borat movie came Rudy came to say Darling with your eyes so bright  Help me tuck in my shirt tonight  Then all the hair color dripped down As we shouted out with glee Rudolph the rat fink mayor You’re a stain in Trump’s history

I fall in love too easily Because I have a lot to give There is only so much I can love myself Before it has to find Somewhere else to live I use my men for inspiration What else could they be for? The words they leave Are the only proof They were ever here before You can't handle my full temperature My heat will scorch your feet You'll be dancing to my flames From your floor out my front door Follow the ashes of the footsteps That walked away before A daisy in the dark Always shines best at night Strip her leaves and petals She will glow out of spite