SerenitySavage

This picture will always be one of my favorites, but not for the reasons you might think. I was smack dab in the middle of the absolute worst time of my life, just trying to put on a smile for these three little people that were and are still much more important than me. Nanna was only 2 months old, Luca 16 months, and Anthoni was 8. My body felt ravaged, like it had been pregnant for nearly two years straight and my mind was going downhill. Fast.  I was so alone. Covered with kids at all times, but more alone than I have ever felt. It did not make sense. It’s the part of motherhood that no one tells you about. You give up your own identity in order to raise a new one. I knew what depression was. I had dealt with it since my teenage years, so that was nothing new. Postpartum depression was a much deeper hole. I was supposed to be so overwhelmed with love for these little people that nothing else mattered. Who cares if I hadn’t taken a shower in 4 days or slept more than thirty consecut

Everyone that walks out my door  Leaves in the same way They tell me I’m a miserable human  A grim witch with no happiness They tell me I’m a religiousless heathen A soulless bitch with no direction  What they don’t understand  Is I never hid what I am  I have been all those things from the start It’s only when you see something About yourself In my eyes That you don’t like Kindness is the first victim As you decide to spit your spite  It’s a common trait of weak humans  Throw glass at rock houses If you read something  Within these words That feels familiar  Rest assured it’s not for you Someone that never existed Does not get  To reside in my truth