SerenitySavage

As I watch the leaves fall to their death  I am jealous of their ability to let go They know they have done enough  And are no longer good for the tree The tree knows the dead leaves  Will still nourish her roots So long as they don’t float too far Out of her grasp and if they do She knows the spring renewal Is only a few sleeps away

Stents and stones may crush my soul But will they actually kill me It damn sure felt like it at 3:00 in the morning as I sat on the floor beside my bed debating on whether or not I should call an ambulance. I had been experiencing intractable vomiting for the past two hours with no relief in sight. It has been a couple years since one of these episodes landed me in the Emergency Room, but I knew that is where I needed to be. Somehow I summoned the strength to make a phone call to my GI so that they could call the hospital and give them a heads up. That was probably the best thing that I could have done for myself. I then called my mom and 911 somewhere in the 5:00 hour. By that time I had been throwing up for about 4 hours straight and dehydration was settling in. I had been there before. The lone paramedic showed up and began asking me all the same questions they always do that I barely have the strength to answer. Still vomiting and retching uncontrollably, the EMT tried to start an

Some dogs will bite every hand that feeds it Take until there is nothing left  Some dogs are born to growl Bear teeth and bark until their last breath  Some dogs are too dumb for their own good They come back for each beating Some dogs are opportunistic  Only turn up for eating Some dogs belong in a junkyard Untamable beasts of bursts Some dogs are pure bred And cost more than they’re worth Some dogs run in a pack Hiding and protecting each other  But the alpha dog that’s all alone Is the trickiest motherfucker Which is why I will always prefer Cats

My Crohn’s disease has tentacles. Hidradenitis Supprativa and Psoriasis are the biggest appendages, followed by fatigue, nausea, joint pain and depression. Any one of these things can take me out at any given moment. Sometimes these tentacles are worse than the Crohn’s itself.  I have been in clinical remission from Crohn’s disease for the past two years but I still deal with one or more of these side items every day. Every single day. It is exhausting.  The worst would have to be Hidradenitis Supprativa otherwise known as HS. I would advise that you not google what this looks like. I’ll just tell you that it can cause large pockets or tunnels of raging infection, typically in places that you sweat, such as your underarms or groin area. There really isn’t anything I can do about these things beside wait them out when they occur. Nothing in my body ever wants to heal because of the immunosuppressant drug I am on, so sometimes I deal with these extremely painful abscesses for a couple of