The Bug

Would you like to read a funny little story? It’s about this disgusting filthy bug that I found. I think you’ll find it worth the read, because I definitely found it worth the write.

I’ve worked in the restaurant business all my life. I started out as a hostess and later my ex husband and I owned a couple, but these days I’m just a server.

One night I waited on this sweet little family that had just moved into town, a couple and their two young sons. They really ended up loving the restaurant and would later return many times.

After my divorce, I have thrown myself into the online dating pool pit a few times. I’d have to go out in public to meet anybody any other way and there’s just a bunch of people out there. Ewww.

Anyway, one day I was on Tinder and guess who I saw? None other than the man from that sweet family I waited on a few days before.

The guy is gross, far from my type, but I decided I would try and match with him, which I did immediately. That’s when it became fun.

So this guys starts in on how beautiful my eyes are and I said, “Oh yea? Did you like them the other night when I waited on you and your wife and kids?”

The guy starts begging me to please not tell his wife, that I didn’t understand, blah, blah, blah. Typical man bullshit.

I told him that it wasn’t my responsibility to ruin his marriage, that was his job and then I just blocked him before he could say anything else. Not before I got the screenshot of that conversation for safe keeping.

I didn’t see that family for a while after that, but they have started coming in regularly now, sometimes with their kids and sometimes by themselves. I have even waited on them several times and just pretended like everything was fine. Maybe he thought that I didn’t remember him.

But we all know who he is, I’ve told every other server there, so it’s a well known story at work. We all laugh at him when he comes in.

That was until last night. I wasn’t his server, but I saw his credit card up at the register that needed to be returned to him to be signed. To his misfortune, his wife had happened to go to the restroom and he was all alone at the table.

So I snatched that card up and pranced over to his table to hand it to him. He looked up at me and said “Thank you.”

I looked him dead in the eyes with my most devilish grin and said, “Do you remember me?”

He sheepishly said, “Yea, I do.”

With that mean little smile, I said, “Mmhmm, I bet you do.” Then I just turned and walked away.

It felt like I squashed that big nasty bug with the heel of my shoe. Gloriously exhilarating. You should have heard that crunch.