HIM

It happened beneath a picture of a saint
The night HE showed no restraint
HE is a common coward, a rapist, a diseased pig
Taking advantage of a young girl made HIM feel big
HE should consider himself lucky that I left HIM with his dick
Just, finally, let me get this off my chest real quick
20 years flew before I could think to blink my eyes
But these things do not go away, the feelings survive

NO was repeated. NO. I said NO.
I pushed away from HIM from below
I may have said yes once before, but now NO means much more
I should have bit it off, spit it out on the floor
Afterwards I am lost, entranced by the light seeping under the bathroom door
The water running down the drain
Will not wash away HIS shame

I am gone before he even knows
In the car before any tears start to show
The next day HE is sorry, right?
Remarks from a phone call by HIM so contrite
A mutual girlfriend puts her belief in HIM
Sharks of self doubt swim erratically within

I did not ask for this. It was not my fault or desire
But I'll tell you some things I've learned from what's transpired
The hat HE never removed hid HIS sawed off devil's horns
And what is left of my innocence continues to mourn

HE is still here in my city breathing
Still a heathen. Still seizing, deceiving, sleazing
HE taught me that penises make the world go around 
And females are best meant to lay down
Power and strength reign
With no decent sense of shame for the creation of this pain

Another way of keeping women in perpetual frowns
Giving us water as they watch us drown
An assault on all the senses
A molestation behind picket fences
Left me always wondering
About my vagina's plundering
Virgin naivety wrecked
Was this my fault? What did I expect?

Society places unreasonable blame
Pressure to shame and defame
Bitter, YES, from what happened to me
I continue, forced to float in my own debris
Me too
Just like all the rest of you

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