The Asshole Screaming in the Dollar Tree

 This is a little tale about an asshole I encountered screaming in the Dollar Tree. It was Halloween afternoon when I decided to stop at the store to pick up a couple of last minute items. As I walked in the door, my senses were immediately assaulted with a gentleman in line who was yelling at the top of his lungs.


The line was about six or seven people deep and the store was full of customers. No one was telling this guy to be quiet. “HALLOWEEN IS OF THE DEVIL!” (preach, preach, preach) “ANYONE THAT PARTICIPATES IS GOING TO THE DEPTHS OF HELL!” (preach, preach, preach) “ATONE YOUR SINS!!”


The guy kept getting louder and louder. I went down an aisle, trying to focus on what I was there for. There was another woman nearby and I said to her, “That guy sounds like Kanye up there on one of his rants” and we both began to laugh.


Just then, a little old lady wheeled her cart around the corner and down the aisle in which we were laughing. “You’re laughing but he’s telling the truth,” she said in her little old lady voice.


With that comment, I tossed the bag of candy I had picked up and turned around to leave, mumbling obscenities as I went. I had only been in the store for about two minutes. When I reached the front door, I stopped and turned around.


“HEY!! NOBODY NEEDS TO HEAR THAT SHIT IN THE DOLLAR TREE!” I screeched as the entire store stopped and stared at me. “SHUT THE FUCK UP YOU CRAZY ASSHOLE!” I finished my tirade and stormed out of the store.


I wonder now, what happened after I left? Did I make the situation better or worse, did people stick up for me? Did they clap? Or did they say, “Look! There’s a devil woman right now!” I guess I will never know.


And that concludes the story of how I became the crazy asshole screaming in the Dollar Tree.



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