Prove It

Sometimes I do things just to prove to myself that I am strong enough to go through with them.

I was at the lawyers office the very next day after I found out my ex-husband knocked up the help. She asked me, “Are you sure you want to go through with this?” My response was a quick “Yes” while I thought to myself, there is no other option, of course I’m going through with it!

After my divorce, when the lease was up on our minivan, I decided to go to the Honda dealership myself to negotiate purchasing it. I knew they would see me as a walking target. I knew they would try to screw me over, and that exactly what they did. 

So I politely said “No thanks” and walked out of there after wasting about two hours of mine and that slick ass salesman’s time. I needed to prove that I could stand up for myself. The following day I went to my bank and was able to secure a loan for the van and now 7 years later, it’s mine, free and clear.

I have always been bold with men. I am overly honest and assertive and I have no problem telling a man where his place is, whether it’s in hell, or in my bed. Sometimes that happens to be the same place.

Most recently, I found myself setting up a date with a man that has had my heart for years, but never wanted the silly thing. Plans were made upon my insistence. A few days later, I crashed the whole thing and called it off. Just to see if I still loved myself as much as I need to.

I published one book of poetry that turned into three. I have shared my work ALL over the place, and my poems are definitely not for everyone. I have taken criticism and used it to my advantage. I have been rejected over and over again, but I still submit my writing for publication because I believe in it and I believe in myself.
Regardless of rejection, ridicule, or rebellion.

To the extent that I started my own poetry business and have sold over 100 all over the world in the past couple of years that I have been doing it. I have created so much with only the power of my creative mind.

The same goes for my flowers. I have built this gorgeous garden of roses, lilies, irises, daffodils and more. The over abundance I sell in these beautiful handpicked arrangements. Eventually I will be a little old lady selling her poems and flowers and minding her own damn business. 

I don’t know what I will have to prove to myself next. The world only knows. But what the world doesn’t know, is that I am more than ready for it.


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