SerenitySavage

Like a can opener You have ripped yourself open With each wild twist Of your wrist The wound is gaping now And your lid just dangles But my neck is the one  That bleeds It’s not as if you can just leave We are braided Woven together over The past 19 years When the man You had children with Leaves the country To sell fruit  From a cart  On the side of the road Instead of staying here with them It’s hard not to internalize that I can’t count the amount of times I have lost myself to you  I was never any good at math You will likely never even read this  But I know you will be lying still Until you are lying still Peace will be your death This is what you chase All I want is a nap My only peace is sleep

What does it feel like to leave the country and your family behind? What do you think about on that 12 hour plane ride? Do you fantasize about opening up the emergency exit door and hurling yourself into the Atlantic? What kind of drugs must you have pumping in your veins to make you abandon your entire life? Is it easy to just walk away from your restaurant, leaving the teenagers waiting outside wondering where their boss went? What lies fill your mouth when your mother first lays her eyes on what you have become? Will she feel shame that the son she sent to a foreign country at the age of 14 never grew up? Does she feel remorse for what she did not do?What she unleashed on America? How do you forget the names of your children, the ones named after your own parents? How do you erase those faces from your memory? Do you wish Mount Vesuvius would erupt again while you stroll the streets of Pompeii, leaving you a scorched cast of what your life once was? Do you still tell everyone how aw...

If I bury my problems  Under six feet of flowers or words Do they still exist? I’ve decided to try something new I’m going to worry first and foremost About my own satisfaction  Just like all the rest of you  I guess now we are all screwed  Because I don’t like  Anything Almost as much as I don’t like  Being replaceable, reusable  Recyclable and renewable So I think I’ll take one for the team  And sit the rest of this one out From now on  My only intentions Will be that I have none

Apparently, Bill Cosby doesn't like it if you call him a bug eyed piece of shit rapist on all of his Instagram posts. He will block you for it. He can't block me from talking about him on my own time and isn't that one of the things that's great about America? Now let me tell you why it is not.  I grew up watching the Cosby Show. This man was a wholesome father figure for millions of people during the eighties. He was also a sexual predator. He admitted to using his power and fame to manipulate women. In his own testimony, he admitted to the use of sedatives to enhance his sexcapades. Why would a man with that much fame and money need to drug women to get what he wanted from them? Because he is a twisted fuck of a human being. And he is, by far, not the only one. But he was convicted and it looked like maybe women could finally have a win. Harvey Weinstein and Jeffrey Epstein both ended up where they belonged. Maybe women were going to start being listened to and believ...

I’m a broken record That plays the worst song I speak in poems  But always get the words wrong   Crafted from sugar and spite And everything trite You want my mouth full  But you don’t care what I have to say I force forgiveness Just as much as I force kindness On people that never Even want it My mouth is full of cuts From trying to swallow The realization that I don’t fucking matter  A saltwater reservoir  Behind green eyes Glistens and All you want is a mouthful Of broken teeth And jagged jaw I have a mouth full of venom Are you sure you want that? It’s nice to know where I stand So I know where not to sit With a mouth  Full of cavities  From chewing on my insecurities  There is no room for anything else I’m so much more than a mouthful I will gag you with my truth  The only me you ever knew Was the one just trying to keep up with you

I surround myself with beauty  To drown out the disgust My garden grows flowers Unreasonably exquisite  Safe enough for the fawns To grow up digesting the petals  I live in color Violent purple hair To rainbow glitter toes My house is a vibrant  Kaleidoscope of circus hues  Bright and vivid  I meet these magical men Extraordinary specimens From around the world And four doors down None of them want to hold my hand Unless it’s in his pants The one that did pick me for matrimony  Chose someone else’s life to ruin His own That was much more important  Than anything I  Could ever have contributed  So I create  From my hate It turns the ugly in me Into something I can look at Without remorse or False positivity  No matter what I do  To gather happiness It always seeps through my basket Leaving bits of magic For others to pick up On the trail behind me

You can not devalue me When I already am worthless Just an open vessel Colorful as it may be An empty glass  On the brink of shatter